Elusive are my dreams, fruitless efforts so long ago past I forget why I try.

Lofty goals I set, yet I’m amazed when I fail.

Cynical, self torturing sad soul but I’m hopeful.

Dragging  shattered pieces of broken promises and false hope, they cutter my mind and cloud my vision.

I long to forget but my heart wont let go

I want to stare into the sun, but the ray’s burn my eyes

So I hide in the darkness with my demons by my side

Keeping vigil least I forget the past and dare to rise like a Phoenix out from  the ash.

To believe in the unknown, doesn't that make you insane by nature?
Who believes in what they cannot see? Only fools.
It's madness
It's dreaming
It's faith in something inside yourself that tells you to go left instead of right.
How do you really know that the choices you are making are right? You don't but you do it anyway.
You do it blindly and with conviction, as if you have been let in on some secret whispered to you by the divine herself.
Its an unexplainable concept for humans.
Is there a "divine" ?
How  do we know  that we are not simply delusional and when things happen to work out in our favor it simply means that we got "lucky"
How do we know that there is a rhyme and reason for it all?
We don't.
What if life is simply a fancy game of chance, where probability and statistic determine our future and not the "divine element"?
Maybe by doing certain things, to achieve a goal will increase our odds in achieving that goal? Which when you think about it makes perfect sense. If you want to be a chef, going to culinary school will greatly increase you chances reaching that goal.
Maybe we use the divine calling as an excuse to be "fearless".
Maybe we need some higher justification for the seeming odd thing we have a desire to leap into.
Do we need permission to live our lives?
Do we need permission to change our minds about the path we want to take in life?
Or do we truly have a divine source giving us directions and leading down the right path; even when we take a wrong turn.
A cosmic GPS system.

The Savvy Quester by Kevin Kaiser July/August, 2006

The Power of Intention

It's the third day of the 7^th International Conference on Science and Consciousness in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and 700 people from 24 countries around the world sit spellbound as scientist Masura Emoto shows slides of water crystals. The first image thrown on the giant Hotel La Fonda auditorium screen is of a beautiful and symmetric frozen crystal-it was formed from a vial of water with the word love written on it. The second image shows a crystal that is chaotic and dissonant-it was formed from a vial of water with the world hate on it.

Although opinions vary in the scientific community about the validity of Masura's work, it has captured people's attention, because it suggests that water is affected by consciousness-that water crystals do not form simply at random, but in relationship to the world.

THE RESONANT UNIVERSE

Masura Emoto is working alongside a growing number of internationally recognized scientists who are exploring the interface between science and spirituality. The work of these frontier scientists suggests that the world is causally connected as much by consciousness as it is by the four fundamental forces.

One of these scientists, physicist Bill Tiller, is experimenting with the interface between intention and matter using a group of experienced meditators who focus consciousness to affect pH drift. His experiments have shown that pH drift is nearly one point higher with substances at the focus of group intention vs. a control.

Water crystals and pH drift are two of dozens of scientific experimentations exploring the power of consciousness.

INTENTION EXCITES THE WORLD

Intention is a powerful tool in the acceleration of personal evolution, because our intentions change the way the world responds to us. Just as a water crystal is affected by the energies around it, the world is affected by the intentions we have for giving and receiving from it.

Strong, coherent intentions have a resonance. They induce a response in the world from everything that has a similar quality-the world literally sings a song to us as we walk through it!

It is this vibrational relationship with the world that creates synchronicity. People, resources, and events seemingly appear from nowhere to respond to, and connect with, our intentions. It is this flood of connections that allows highly-intentional people, and highly-intentional organizations, to create in really big ways.

SEVEN SAVVY IDEAS

Setting intentions is more of a spiritual practice than a one-time activity. Here are seven ideas for the creation of an intention practice:

1. Start by doing a short visualization of yourself in a future state where you are surrounded by abundant resources, infinite opportunity, and absolute freedom. Now that you can create anything you want, what do you want to create!
2. Write down your intentions on index cards in the form of short, powerful, crisp statements. Play with several different versions of each intention by using different language. Language is a symbol system-as you vary the words, you vary the symbolic nature of your intentions. Some patterns of symbols have more power than others, so look for a burst of energy as you contemplate different versions of your intentions.
3. Once you have the final version of your intentions, one intention per index card, turn the index cards over and mix them up! Hold your intentions one at a time and do an intuitive scan. What do they feel like? What is their emotional quality? Are there any images that come to mind as you hold your intentions? What are all of the sensations you experience as you hold your intentions? On the back of each index card, write notes on your intuitive impressions. When you are done, turn over each intention and integrate your intuitive insights.
4. Add art to your intentions. What images, pictures, or symbols seem to fit? Create a poster board, or mandala, for each intention. This gives you an even greater sense of the resonance, or signatures, that each intention carries-which gives you an even greater chance of recognizing anything in the world around that is connected to it.
5. Act on your intention. You must exert effort to create a response from the world! The power of intention is released when the power of consciousness (the vertical dimension) partners with the power of action (the horizontal dimension). This is the point of high creation.
6. Engage other people in your intentions. Do this process with a group of friends. The more people holding your intentions, the more power they have!
7. Make intention an iterative process throughout the year. As you change, your intentions change. Intentions are a part of your cycle of growth.

When I see him I feel sad because I know it’s not our time together.

My typical “knee Jerk” response to being deprived of something or someone that I love and desire is to; I take on the persona of a tortured soul, a soul that is sad and without any hope in sight ( very melodramatic and cheesy description to be sure).

I have to reconcile both the need to stay true to myself while carrying with me a “one point intention” that we will together again.

If I stay in “gloomy depressed love sick girl mode”

I will lose my focus and risk not tending to my garden. If I do this I will fail for sure.

My negative outlook will produce a “self-fulfilling prophecy” to be sure if I stay on the road. I must prevent this at all costs!

I must be brave

I must no be my worst enemy

I am one of the seeds that I tend to in my garden. I need to tend to myself with tender loving care, so that I to can blossom.

Ace of Wands

Card Meaning

Creation, enthusiasm, energy, courage, new life.

The birth of an idea, a raise, promotion, new job. Boundless energy. New enterprise or challenge. New: journey, marriage, pregnancy, birth of a child, sexual escapade, opening of a business. Contract signed. Head spins with new idea. Revelation brings renewed sense of purpose.

Description

A hand reaches out from a cloud to grasp a wand that is still flowering. Eight leaves are floating down on the wind to signify material and spiritual progress and balance. In the distance on the left, there is a castle to represent the promise of what may come.

Meanings

A new creative opportunity. Aspirations. Use your creative energy and passion to take the first steps. Listen to your instincts. Don't second guess yourself. The gut instinct.

Often this card can signify a new business venture or new career- look to the surrounding cards for confirmation. According to some books, it can also signify a birth in the family. Once again, look to surrounding cards for confirmation.

In readings, the Ace of Wands shows that a seed of bold, enthusiasm has been planted in your life although you may not yet recognize it. When the seed sprouts, it could take almost any form. Inside, it might be a creative idea, surge of optimism or need to act boldly. Outside, it could be an offer, gift, opportunity, encounter or synchronistic event.

When you see this Ace, examine your life to see how its potent, confident energy could work for you. Be daring and brave. Sometimes you have to risk to get what you want. Look for the path that will excite you and push you beyond your limits. Seize the initiative, and let your enthusiasm take you to new heights.

Wands are the suit of individual power and fulfillment. This Ace tells you that a time of passion is beginning. You will be able to assert your best for all to see. The Ace of Wands is also the card of creativity. Under its influence, you can become a conduit for inspiration and invention. Forget tired, worn-out solutions. You have the chance to be original. Trust your own creative potential, and there will be no end to what you can achieve.

Initiation. You need to be instinctive, creative and passionate. You are being initiated. Do not second-guess yourself. Go on first impressions. Make the first move. Try to see through all illusion. You may experience a breakthrough.

The Ace of Wands is all about the Life force itself. This is one reason why some experts associate it with air, and some with fire. But, even when associated with air, and the growth of Spring, the fire of life is implied. This card sizzles with energy. You see, Wands represent will. Now, this will can be the Will of spirit, or the will of personal desire. It is what makes us do things. Wands are all about motivation, too, because they deal with our self-concept, our ambitions, and the ways in which we feel successful. Think about it. Every fairy tale includes at least one magic wand. Now, what is a magic wand? It is simply the tool through which the witch, or fairy godmother, or whoever, focuses her will, and through that will, makes changes in her reality. So, when you see this ace--be aware that what is being talked about, ultimately, is an act of will.

Now, acts of will require enthusiasm and passion. So, the wands are also about those things. But don't get confused, here, because the cups will also talk about passion - but of a different kind.

The aces are seeds. Like all seeds, they must be cultivated. When you see any Ace in a spread, yes, something new has begun, is beginning or will begin. But, at this point, what you are being given is a seed. Like the seed buried deep in the Earth, you might not see its growth for a while. And, just to complicate matters a little, that seed could be buried in the fertile soil of your own sub-conscious. So, Aces are seeds, known and unknown. But tend them well - if you want the fruit. If you don't, they won't grow. That simple.

Opportunities, work or creatively based. Self Confidence. Beginnings. Enterprise, new business or relationship. You will be productive in your chosen line of work. You can't believe your luck. Eagerness and strength, great sexual energy, the love of living.

The suit of wands corresponds to the alchemy element of fire. Fire is a force of consuming power that has potential to destroy or to nourish. As the first card in the suit of wands, the Ace of Wands represents the fire of creativity and the beginning of new adventures and creative pursuits. The image of a hand appearing from the clouds as if by magic symbolically represents the inspiration of the unconscious. The hand appears in the foreground of the card which is set in the solitude's away from "civilization," represented by the castle in the far background.

This card represents energy, ambition, and drive and in this sense is similar to the Chariot. There is inspiration, potential, and creativity in the Ace of Wands, the beginning of a journey, whether physical, mental, or spiritual. The energy in this card can also signify a restlessness or uncertainty as to how to proceed. You may have energy and passion but not yet have a clear outlet for its expression. The Ace of any suit typically represents a raw, unexpressed form of energy that portends a future fulfillment and clarification.

You have a duty and carry a message of peace, the result of which will be successful, reappraising your efforts and encompassing everything. Nothing should be left to chance because nothing is accidental. It is the victory of love over human mediocrity. A triumph of the spirit. High artistic value. Inspiration.

Corresponding to the number one and the Magician, Aces represent the point at the center of life, the beginnings of activity. Aces are gifts, first causes, roots. They represent the primary impulse that evolves throughout a particular suit.

Mercury. Action, ideas, beginnings. Seed. Root. Primary impulse. Possibility. Penetration. Births. Initiation. Opening. Gifts. Potential. Thesis. Starting point. Concentration of will. Attention. Singleness. Mindfulness. Unity. Self-consciousness. Intention. Threshold. Commencement. Focus. Opportunity. Consciousness-raising. Creativity. Desire for self-growth. Inspiration. New Idea. Burst of energy.

Force, Harmonious willpower, enterprise, beginning, growth, energy, fertility, inheritance, adventure, creativity, new ideas, birth, new start, new job, new friendship, new romance, new enterprise, fiery enthusiasm, pregnancy, creative, spiritual energy.

Ace of Wands could indicate something of a creative nature is being offered, a new opportunity, a new direction in life. The beginning of a new family or relationship, a new concept or project.

A capacity for achieving ideals, original conceptions, ferment and potential for new growth; emotional upheaval leading to new energy and insights; possible stormy period, clearing out, opening up, getting rid of old or unfinished business, establishing a new center; artistic inspiration, new variations on old themes, creativity rooted in responsibility to others.

Some of the meanings of the number One: Root, the point at the center of life, beginning, activity, first cause, primary, impulse, seed, birth, becoming, manifesting, awakening, primary impulse, potential, threshold, intention, conception, genesis, door, source, primal, sprouting.

High artistic value, carrying a message of peace, inspiration, spiritual awakening, power to create of transform, energy emerging, arousal, Shakti, ready to begin, will power, expansive energy, catching fire, sexual energy, attractive force, a flame kindled, new growth, a promise, newness, innovation, transformation, opportunity, start of adventure or journey, first step, challenge, vision, fertility, new job, new anything, enthusiasm, arousal of the dragon or earth power, zest for life, constructive energy, courage, new viewpoint, grounded, vibrant, controlled creative force, lightning, harmonious willpower, enterprise, vitality, urge to succeed, originality, individuality emerging, healing the wasteland.

Potency; balding; hangnail; problem with thumb; carpal tunnel; osteoarthritis; self-centered; genital warts.

Page of CUps

The Page of Cups is Cupid bringing you opportunities for love. He delivers real chances to experience romance, deep feelings and the inner life - the wonders of the Cups suit. In readings, this Page suggest that an opening may appear that stirs your emotions, pulls at your heartstrings or brings you great joy. When you see such a chance, act on it!

The Page of Cups can also stand for a child or young-at-heart adult whose interactions with you involve emotional needs, moodiness, love, intimacy or spirituality. Sometimes the Page of Cups implies that your entire situation is suffused with the spirit of love and emotion. At such times, feel free to express and enjoy your feelings with light-hearted abandon.

The Page of Cups can mean the birth of a child or a budding relationship. He brings opportunities for love. The page also represents a child or person who is young-at-heart who is emotionally needy.

The Page of Cups is associated with Pisces

The Lovers The Lovers stand in front of two trees. One tree bears 12 flames for the 12 signs of the Zodiac. The other is the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, complete with Serpent. This tree bears 5 fruits representing the 5 senses. The man representing the conscious mind, gazes at the woman, representing the subconcious mind. The woman in turn looks up at the Archangel blessing their union. The Archangel represents god consciousness, the higher self in all of us. Drawing the Lovers almost always means a choice will have to be made. This choice is usually of the variety that is between doing what "makes sense" and following your heart. The answer to this dilemma involves surrendering to God. Don't be surprised if your well-laid plans are suddenly subject to change. The Lovers remind us that we cannot attain our full potential with our conscious, rational mind alone. We must marry it to our subconscious, representing our emotions and intuition.

Basic Tarot Meaning

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. In interpetation, the card indicates that the querent has come across, or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that they will fall in love with. They will know instinctively that they must have this, even if it means diverging from their chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it they will never be complete.

Thirteen's Observations

The Lovers is a confusing card as it is ruled not by an emotional water sign but by airy Gemini. The original trump featured a man and a woman with a cupid above them about to shoot his dart. Later this became three figures, the interpetation being a man choosing between two women, or a man meeting his true love with the help of a matchmaker. Still later, with Waite, we have an Angel above Adam and Eve. The Angel stands for Raphael, who is emblematic of Mercury and Air, planet and element of Gemini. Gemini is the communications sign. It's all about messages and making contact; also, as it is the twins, about finding your other self. In this regard, you can see that the Lovers begins to make sense. Especially if you change it back to "LOVE." Here is a card about perfect communication, about finding something your soul requires. In this regard, its most common interpetation about being "A Choice" makes sense. When this card appears, you are being told to trust you instincts, to choose this career, challenge, person or thing you're so strongly drawn to, no matter how scary, how difficult, irrational or troublesome. Because without it, you will never be wholly you. It's sudden and unexpected, and it means a compete change in plans; but this is LOVE. True love. Go for it!

 

The Star

A beautiful maiden kneels by a pool with one foot in the water (representing spirit) and one knee on dry land (representing the physical world). She holds two urns, one of which she pours into the pool, the other onto the land. The five rivulets on the land represent the five senses. The ibis in the tree behind her represents pure thought. The Eight eight-pointed stars in the sky symbolize creative cosmic energy.

This card is about following your own star, living your life with a sense of purpose, and finding meaning and inspiration. You may have unexpected assistance as you pursue your dream. Remember to be true to yourself, commit yourself to your sense of purpose, and things will work out better than you anticipated.

Basic Tarot Story

On the bleak landscape where the Tower stood, the Fool sits, empty, despairing. He hoped to find himself on this spiritual journey, but now he feels he's lost everything, even himself. Sitting on the cold stones, he gazes up at the night sky wondering what's left. And that is when he notices, nearby, a beautiful girl with two water urns. As he watches, she kneels by a pool of water illuminated with reflected starlight. She empties the urns, one into the pool, one onto the thirsty ground.

"What are you doing," he asks her. She looks up at him, her eyes twinkling like stars. "I am refilling this pool, so that those who are thirsty may drink, and I am also watering the earth so that, come spring, the seeds will grow," she tells him. And then she adds, "Come. Drink." The Fool comes to kneel with her by the pool and drink. The water tastes wonderful, like liquid starlight. "I can see you are sad," the girl continues, "and I know why. But you must remember that you have not lost all. Knowledge, possibilities, hope, you still have all of these. Like stars, they can lead you to a new future." Even as she says this, she began to fade away, like dew, vanishing. All that remains is a gleam that was at the center of her forehead. This rises up and up, until it settles in the night sky as a shining star. "Follow your star," the woman's voice seems to sing from that light, "and have hope." The Fool takes in a breath and rises. It is a dark night, a desolate land. But for the first time, he has a guiding light to show him the way. Distant as it is, it heals his heart, and restores his faith.

Basic Tarot Meaning

With Aquarius as its ruling sign, The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench the Querent's thirst, with a guiding light to the future.

Thirteen's Observations

The Star is one of those cards everyone loves. In every deck, it is usually the most beautiful. It suggests the peace and harmony of its meaning. There is nothing negative about this card, but I think there is a trick to it. Whatever hope, healing, future it offers, the reader must remember that it might not be immediate. This is a soft card, and like Aquarius, its vision is for tomorrow, not today. That's not to say that it offers no concrete benefits; it is a card the predicts unexpected help, but that help is only the first step. The star only reveals the future. It is up to the Querent to find his way to that future.